Pissed. About to explode.

I'm tired. I'm so tired. And I don't mean sleepy, I mean like sick of it. You know how many times people come up to me daily because me and him look "cute". Awh Sam, you and ____ are so cute, are you guys dating? Oh you guys should date eachother! You look so cute, you would make such a great couple, he would be so lucky to have you.. blah blah blah. Like I appreciate it. A lot. What makes me want to explode? Is he does not fucking see it. Like I'm sitting here writing freaking love songs, planning out future events like his birthday and christmas, and you know what he's probably doing? Nothing to do with me that's for sure. And what gets me boggled the most is he says he likes me. Okay, I don't know about you, but when you like someone, you don't ignore them. You don't tell them you like them , and then make excuses on why not to ask them out. When you like someone, aren't you supposed to show it in some way? Compliments? Hanging out? Like Im not asking for a fucking Romeo. I just want to like hangout or something. Is that so hard? Like he get's me so hyped. I should be doing homework right now, but instead I'm ranting on and on because these thoughts have been going through my head for a month now. I feel like he takes advantage of me so much. He knows whatever he does he can pull off because I'll "understand". Like he could come to me and say he killed a guy, and he could get away with it because he knows I'll "understand". Well you know what? I'm tired of understanding. I'm tired of staying quiet. I'm tired of being the nice girl that lets him walk all over me. I'm done making jokes with the slightest bit seriousness in them hoping he gets the hint I want something more than this. I'm done trying so hard. You like me? You fucking talk to ME. I'm not the one starting this conversation all the time. I'm done going up to you in school first. I'm done messaging you first. I'm done trying to look so good so you'll bother coming up to me in the first place. I'm done. I'm absolutely done. Tomorrow I'm seriously going to ignore him all day. Even if he comes up to me. He'll just be air to me. Obviously thats all I am to him. Like, damn, I can't try any harder with this kid. It's eating me apart, and getting out of whack with my studies. I hate complications in life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a total bitch. I actually DO understand his reasoning and problems, but I have an opinion and I feel like it's strong enough to surmount the difficulties he says would happen in a relationship.

My problem? If you like me, act like it. If you don't, don't lead me on and say you do, because there are so many guys out there who would love to be with me.. and lots of them are great too. I don't want to stay hung over you just because things "might" change. You're leaving for the summer, so that crosses out summer for dating, and school is an issue so that crosses out school time for dating. So in other words you're telling me, never gonna happen but instead of saying it, you say "I like you but.. *insert list of excuses here*" If you like someone you make it work. End of story.

Ugh,.

I feel better, but still enraged. Doing homework then bed. 'Night.