Deep emotional post. :p

So yeah. I need to pour my heart and soul out at the moment. Haven't been too upset in a while.. Okay so whatever comes out , comes out.

And today I thought about you.. and I thought about us. And I thought of this fantasy relationship. I wake up, and I call you. You answer with that half awake sleepy voice, that just makes you so irresistible in the morning. I tell you "Good morning baby" , and you reply "Good morning beautiful". You say "See you at school baby" and then I say "Okay, see you then." See, we don't say I love you yet.. Well, we get to school, in our own separate means of transportation. We meet up before class, right near the music hall way, you know, the place right in front of the large cafeteria.. next to the large display of school sports trophies. Well, we meet there, and we talk before class, just talk. Nothing too special. I tell you how cute you look in your typical button down shirt, and you tell me that I look pretty in my outfit, even if I look atrocious. Then the 5 minute bell will ring, and we'll hold hands walking to class. Sometimes you might walk me to my class, sometimes I'll walk you to yours. You have a big test that day so I walk you to your class, before you go in I give you a kiss you on the cheek, and tell you goodluck. You'll say thank you and I'll head to my class. It's a cooking class so whatever I cook, I'll make sure to save some for you, and I'll surprise you with something new everyday. We walk to our second period class, and we'll argue about who walks who to their class, and it'll end in us just plain out laughing and smiling at each other like fools. We continue this kind of pattern until lunch, and we'll sit next to each other at lunch. We talk about school, how you did on that science test today, and how hard my Math homework was the night before. We'll just talk. Once the bell rings we'll go to our next class, and I'll end up being late because I'm too stubborn to listen to you when you say not to walk you to your room. We may not exactly have the same classes, we'll always find a way to see each other. At the end of the day, we'll meet up and you'll give me a big hug, and of course I give you a big kiss on the lips, because that's what I was dying to do all day. We'll go our separate ways, me going to forensics club, and you to tutorials for that extremely hard AP class you take. And the second I get home I'll text you. I'll help you with your homework, and you'll help me with mine. And we'll just talk. About anything. Everything. Me, you, us, our families, our day.. anything. Because I know I can trust you with anything. And we'll end our day on the phone with eachother, and the last thing we hear before we go to bed, finally, after that whole day.. "I love you." And I'll fall asleep with a smile on my face, and the cycle repeats..

I know it sounds stupid. And gushy. And sooo unrealistic. But if I had the chance, god knows, I would show you what its like to be treated like a King.. I would love you like no other girl ever would. And yes, we probably will break up, but you'll never find a girl who'll treat you like I do. You need space? That's fine, I'm here when you need me. You need someone? My arms are wide open. Need advice? I'm here to listen. Family troubles? I'll come over and we'll cuddle and watch movies together. I'll be your shoulder to cry on. And it just sucks because you don't like me like that. You don't.. you don't like me anywhere near as much as I love you. I tear up, and am currently tearing up, just thinking of it. And it kills me, everyday, to look into those eyes, and see that smile that makes me melt to my lowest gush point. Those lips that make me want to.. just.. kiss them. Forever. And what do I do? I laugh it off, and you'll never see. And god damnit it kills me more than you'd believe..

Haven't blogged in Ages!

"Fall seven times, stand up eight."
~Japanese Proverb

Hello there everyone! It's been quite a while since I blogged. To be honest, since my *ahem* uh crush found my blog I sort of quit blogging for a little bit. But all the drama blew over and well, new things are going on in my life. Happy belated new year! I'm excited for 2013 ^.^ Here are some pros and cons of my 2012 year..

Pros

~Met a lot of new people
~Had a lot of new wonderful experiences
~Lost weight
~Got over my first love
~Laughed a lot
~Made a lot of really good memories with friends
~Learned so much
~Started to get more serious about writing
~My goddaughter Maggie Rose was born (:

Cons

~Lost a lot of friends
~Got in trouble tons of times with my parents
~Cut myself for the first time
~Went into a depression
~Broke the hearts of over half a dozen boys
~Slacked in school
~There was SO much drama!
~Got bullied and harassed more than ever

So, lots happened. That's just off the top of my head. Now here are my resolutions for the new year..

Resolutions

~Lose 20lbs
~Be a better person.. Ex; Random acts of kindness
~Stay single until the right guy comes around
~Learn to play the guitar
~Do really well in school
~Accomplish something I really want.. Ex; Make it on the forensics team
~Change my appearance so I feel more confident in myself
~Stay out of trouble, but still live life to the fullest
~Stay happy as much as possible
~Be the best Aunt I can possibly be
~Improve my writing skills
~Fall seven times, get up eight :)

People think I'm nuts with my resolutions, like losing 20lbs. Its really not that much, and if I lose twenty pounds then my BMI (Body Mass Index) will be perfectly healthy. And for changing my appearance. Like I'm getting colored contacts in two months, and I'm getting my braces off in the summer, and I'm thinning my eyebrows, and I'm losing weight. But my appearance change isn't for anybody else. It's for myself. I want to look in the mirror and be able to honestly say, "Wow.. I'm beautiful."

On a side note, for the working on my writing part, I'm working on two stories right now. One I'm stumped, and the other one should be done by the end of the week, so I'm ecstatic for that!

Another thing I'm extremely ecstatic for is learning the guitar. I got a brand new Rogue sunburst guitar for Christmas from my uncle :D

I named her Lola. I was going back and forth between Rosalia and Lola, and Lola is short and sweet so I decided upon that. Ah I already learned Boulevard of Broken Dreams so I'm really happy. The new year started off great, I was with my best friend Brianna, my friend Nikki, and one of my close guy friends Ethan when the ball dropped. We all had a great time, and it was very funny when I spilled the sparkling cider all over myself. Aha well that's enough blogging for tonight. I should be doing Science homework haha. Goodnight all! :)